Saturday, October 13, 2018

We are All Prostitutes





We are All Prostitutes

Mwanahamisi 'Mishy' Singano

If the definition of prostitution is ‘the business or practice of engaging in sexual activity in exchange for payment’, we are all prostitutes. The difference will only be on the mode of payment; some choose prepaid while others choose postpaid, some might demand cash while others are content with payment in kind. The bottom line; women are programmed to sell affection and sex while men are nurtured to pay for it.

I was not intending to write this, at least not now, because we kinda get used to see women labeled and humiliated in the name of social values and national morality, but I think this is going too far. This week alone, more than 50 women have been paraded in front of Dodoma and Tanga Police stations, forced to show their face to filming journalists while police mocking them, their crime is being prostitutes. Yes, this has happened in front of the police stations and our men in uniform ‘sworn to protect us’ shamelessly demonizing us. 

One should admire the hypocrisy of this administration, dudes, you want us to embrace the highest values of patriarchal societies. Women selling their bodies and affection is at the core of the system of patriarchy. So, let’s stop these humiliations and let women prostitutes live in peace. 

In all our cultures, we protect young girls so they can be married virgins, right? Do you think the society and girls’ family are doing this because they love the girls so much? Nope, they want a heavy bride price or as many cows as they could get from the potential husband (virginity is a gold mine). Bride price is an acceptable cultural practice because women are being sold by their parents who are the main beneficiaries but when women are selling themselves for their own benefit, it is wrong, right? So selfish of this society…!! 

I know some of the western cultures are no longer paying bride price, but that engagement ring costs a fortune, nah? If you ask me, that is another prepaid………. just like the rest of them….

The selling and buying game continues even when they are married. A patriarchal system demands men to recompense all the household bills and shower the ‘wife’ with money while the ‘wife’ ensures the husband has unlimited sex with all the acrobatics associated with it. I have seen men complaining to parents and friends, saying: ‘I give my wife everything but she doesn’t want to have sex with me.’ The response to the wife has always been, ‘so long he is ‘taking care of you’ you are obliged to pay your dues – have sex with him, in short, ‘no free lunches.’

The same is true when dating. A ‘good boyfriend’ is the one who pays heavily in different forms and shapes. Well, and a ‘good girlfriend’ should supply sex services in the most creative ways and spice up the sexual favours with hard-work by doing household chores. 

So, let’s be clear, if the core trait of prostitution is ‘receiving payment for sex’, under the patriarchy system, all of us are paid for sex, which makes all of us prostitutes. If you don’t like the label, overthrow the system …. Don’t attack me, it won’t help……

I know some will argue that the difference between us and them is that we are being paid by one person, ‘a boyfriend or husband’ and they are paid by many, that is, any man who affords the bill. My answer to that is, yes, that is a choice. Some of us choose to be full-time employees of certain companies and others find peace in freelancing – serving different clients. 

Be happy with your choice and respect hers….. no one is better than another, we are all being used…… that is Patriarchy 101. 

To my brothers, especially the Tanzania Police Force, next time you feel like parading prostitutes, remember your wives, sisters, mothers or daughters are also prostitutes and you are faithful clients, so, parade those women if none of your hard earned money is not used to pay them in cash or kind….

14 comments:

Pater Niye October 13, 2018 at 6:26 PM  

For sure and for really thats how our society and the so called right system that fights and upholds morals and values say. In truth if payment is the definition then prostitution is but a pattern percel of a human life especially when men and women engage is sexual affairs.
The difference is the direct pay. But also why men are not labeled so?! Could we need to think of a hard tough system of men over women or social systems of our society?

Mariam Hamis October 13, 2018 at 6:42 PM  

Lol...thats my mishi changing the societies paradigms and myths of prostitution.

As you very well articulated some are prostitutes in the public sector while other are prostituting for the private sector.

ALLY OMARI October 13, 2018 at 8:12 PM  

Good analysis from my "super woman". cong to you mate!

Unknown October 13, 2018 at 9:05 PM  

You have said it all Mishy and you have said it so loud. Selfish systems..there are alot more to be dealt with than chasing women labelling them prostitutes..where are the buyers? Why chasing only the sellers? They should deal with the buyers, once there are no buyers I bet the sellers wil look for other opportunities

Jecta Joram October 13, 2018 at 9:07 PM  

Facts indeed.
Let's change our societies plz

Unknown October 14, 2018 at 3:44 AM  

Wow, thought provoking indeed but so true. Saying true to power my girl! You should write more

Unknown October 14, 2018 at 8:04 AM  

Brilliant observation Mishy! The fact, in whatever case, men pay and/or spend more to making their wives and families liquid while wives are liable for sex at anytime needed, and so the communities sue the woman if that doesn't happen! All women are prostitutes under patriarchal systems of life!

annagrace October 14, 2018 at 11:09 AM  

Mishy,thank you for this. You made me get goosebumps when reading through.
You are super woman. Amazing

AfrikaYetu October 14, 2018 at 12:17 PM  

This is a great piece Mishy. We need more people to write these attitudinal discrepancies. I remember when a cartoon appeared on the newspapers on the wake of China buying Afrika, I reposted the cartoon protesting against the patriarchal wrote and portrayals of women. The issue that we are facing today is that so few among us are ready to protest openly about these societal misgivings.
I completely agree with you that all of us are indeed prostitutes. I would go further and suggest that even those who stand in the fringes as spectators are as well prostitutes of some kind. We should be picketing and shouting both louder and with rage about the discrepancies as to who gets reprimanded when prostitution comes along. We should all condemn women being the face of prostitution, forgetting the root causes of prostitution.

Anonymous October 14, 2018 at 12:23 PM  

This is a great piece Mishy. We need more people to write these attitudinal discrepancies. I remember when cartoon appeared in the newspapers in the wake of news about China buying Afrika, I reposted the cartoon protesting against the patriarchal writ and portrayals of women as the face of prostitution. The issue that we are facing today is that so few among us are ready to protest openly about these societal misgivings.
I completely agree with you that all of us are indeed prostitutes. I would go further and suggest that even those who stand in the fringes as spectators are as well prostitutes of some kind. We should be picketing and shouting both louder and with rage about the discrepancies as to who gets reprimanded when prostitution comes along. We should all condemn women being the face of prostitution, forgetting the root causes of prostitution.

Anonymous October 14, 2018 at 12:27 PM  

This is a great piece Mishy. We need more people to write these attitudinal discrepancies. I remember when cartoon appeared in the newspapers in the wake of news about China buying Afrika, I reposted the cartoon protesting against the patriarchal writ and portrayals of women as the face of prostitution. The issue that we are facing today is that so few among us are ready to protest openly about these societal misgivings.
I completely agree with you that all of us are indeed prostitutes. I would go further and suggest that even those who stand in the fringes as spectators are as well prostitutes of some kind. We should be picketing and shouting both louder and with rage about the discrepancies as to who gets reprimanded when prostitution comes along. We should all condemn women being the face of prostitution, forgetting the root causes of prostitution.

A. Massawe October 15, 2018 at 8:48 AM  



Sex making is the function the creator equipped males and females for their love driven self reproduction which is what responsible for the continuation of their in love presence and growth in their endless habitat of space and time.

That is, sex making is not the function the creator equipped males and females to enable them sell it to each other for the loveless-born sexual pleasure which won’t reproduce them for the continuation of their in love presence and growth in their endless habitat of space and time.

The author of this controversial one should considered that all males and females of the other animals of our endless habitat of space and time make the love driven sex functions they are equipped with only for the self reproduction of their kinds, and only when it is the season the creator programmed them for their self-reproduction.
The consideration would enabled him/her to recognize that prostitution is a very destructive misuse of the sex making functions the creator equipped males and females, which should be eliminated in society through the deployment of effective counter-measures rather than promoted.

Moreover, me found this one from the learned author very insulting where said all of us, that is including our grand fathers, grandmothers, parents, sisters , brothers, nuns, priests, etc are.

It is very very few of us are prostitutes.

A. Massawe October 16, 2018 at 7:48 AM  

The many more comments added above so far on the same, lured me to comment again as follows:

The debate on prostitution should be the useful intellectual multiple view of it, which is on the causes and forms of the prostitution we have in society, as well as on its advantages and disadvantages for measures of addressing its causes and disadvantages to maximize its advantages.

It is taking into consideration that the prostitution we have in different societies has always been a tiny fraction of the societies; and that the absence of some of it would definitely give the societies many more of the mentally disturbed sexually, rapists and the school girls lured into premature sex; as well as undermine the attractiveness of their hospitality industries to the tourists also looking for the short time pleasures of new tastes of sexual relationships.

The content of this one didn’t address any of the above important aspects of it.

A. Massawe October 16, 2018 at 4:24 PM  


Moreover, in this case not both man and woman are prostitutes. The man is not a prostitute simply because he is a well mannered man who would pay rather than grab (the way most male animals would do) for the only available for sale sex he needs and deserves. But, the woman is a prostitute simply because she sells sex for cash to anyone who needs it rather than give it free of charge for the sex needs of both parties in it.

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